PDA: My Obsessions with People

Most people on the spectrum have obsessive behaviour, this means that they're very interested in one particular thing. It could be anything from a hobby like video games to a subject like science! And because of their obsession they can become very knowledgeable in their chosen area.

I don't know if this is the case for every person with PDA, however my obsession is focused around people. People with PDA feel very anxious when they're not in control which makes it very difficult to have an obsession involving people, as you can't control someone!

By Ida Anderson

An obsession with someone could be anybody from a family member to a friend. In my case I am obsessed with my boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend have a long-distance relationship, and this means we can't see each other all the time. Despite that, I have become extremely attached to the point where I don't like being away from him online. We Skype almost 24/7 and when I am not on Skype with him, I like to constantly text him.

My attachment with my boyfriend means I want to know everything about him. This could be anything from his life story to what he's up to and who he's texting. I am constantly asking questions and when he answers them, I feel at ease.

When I am away from Skype, I often feel a huge amount of anxiety. I went to a meeting the other day and my boyfriend was asleep on Skype. At first, I felt okay because he was sleeping. But, towards the end of the meeting he texted me, which meant he had woken up. After that I got extremely stressed and agitated, in case he would leave Skype and not be back when I came on.

Sometimes when my boyfriend wants to go and play video games with his friends, I get very sad because this means he can't be on Skype with me. I think my PDA and jealously is combined with this one. My jealously is there because I don't have any friends to go to, whereas he does. However, I feel extremely distressed and unable to control my emotions over how sad I am. I can't even distract myself as my sole focus is about how much I miss my boyfriend and the fact that he is having fun elsewhere. This has caused a lot of meltdowns and arguments between us two. Luckily my boyfriend is very understanding but I know my behaviour may seem controlling in other people's eyes.

I also find it very hard to give my boyfriend space! For example, when we have an argument, he usually wants some time alone. However, I don't want to be apart from him in a sad time. If he does leave for some space, I would burst into tears, my stomach would drop, and I would feel so heavy hearted. I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else until he is back on Skype with me. I know this isn't healthy and I would love to work on setting boundaries, but I just don't know how. I feel like no one understands and that others will just judge me on my behaviour.

This is something I really struggle with and it makes me really unhappy. I don't want to be feeling this way or put my boyfriend in the middle of my obsession. Sometimes it makes me feel like the only choice I have is to leave him, even though I know this would hurt us both as we both love each other very much.

Feel free to let me know what you think!

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