My friendship struggles really began to happen at the age of 11. This is when I first started secondary school. Going through a big change in schooling to suddenly have no friends was a lot to handle.
By Ida Anderson
When I was 11, I had just moved to secondary school. Things started off well but towards the end of the year I was miserable. I had a group of friends and one of them didn't really like me for various reasons which happened years ago. This resulted in a lot of drama.
At one point her and my other friends wrote a list of all the things they didn't like about me. I spent that afternoon crying. Plus, they would leave me out and it made me feel very sad.
A few other things happened in that school, like the amount of work we got, which made me realise this school wasn't for me. I then left that school without telling anyone, even my friends because I didn't feel like they would care either way.
New School New Start
When I moved to my new school, I thought everything would get better. I was looking forward to meeting new people and making friends again. However, I think I was still scarred by the friendships I'd just lost. And without even realising it, I had withdrawn myself and when someone talked to me, I didn't really contribute to the conversation. This made me become a bit of a loner.
At the age of 14 I left that school to go to a special needs school. This is when the online world became a huge part of my life. I would constantly play this game on my phone and I stumbled across a few nice players. A month of playing that game, we handed each other our social medias and started chatting a lot over there. It was me, this Swedish girl Hilda and a few others from around the world. Me and Hilda got on extremely well, we would talk all the time every single day. Even when I was going through my biggest issues, she was always there for me and we had so much fun together.
At my new special needs school, I didn't make any new friends, as I barely made it to school due to my OCD and BDD. Luckily the school was very understanding. And I still had my online friends getting me through my sadness. Me and Hilda eventually became online best friends and she was honestly the best thing in my life at that time.
When I was 15, I left my special needs school because I needed to focus on my mental health. It made my social life even more non-existent, however at least I still had Hilda.
Losing Hilda and finding a boyfriend!
When I was 17, me and Hilda had a little argument which resulted in her not talking to me again. She was my best friend for 3 whole years and the fact she left just like that devastated me! It's been over a year now since I lost her, and I still feel tremendous sadness over what happened. I miss my best friend so much.
After losing her, I spent forever online looking for a new best friend. I had no luck in the best friend department however a week after losing Hilda, I met my boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend met online and then after only 3 months of knowing each other, my parents and I flew to his country and we met up. It was honestly the best day of my life. We now meet each other every month and that's about it for my social life. But I still really miss having friends and I would love to make some eventually.